I've always figured
i’d be alone forever cause no ones been able to capture my attention & then maintain it. I think this was confirmed when i had my son at 19, God didn’t want me to be completely alone for the rest of my life. i appreciate that.
i have a theory...
a theory that when you’re always told you’ll amount to nothing you start to believe it & you kind of just give up. i think i’ve given up on too much recently. i think i’ve given up on myself. i don’t blame myself though. i think i deserve it.
it seems to be the only word to accurately describe how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve lost myself. I find myself existing almost as a shadow in my own life. existing, not even living. I haven’t felt alive recently. not happy, not sad, not love, not pain. numb, I guess you could say. I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things. to feel again. ...